How Can I Change?

“Why can’t I ever be on time?” “How do I control my anger?” “When will I finally start eating right?” “I know I need to change, but how do I do that?” Do you have thoughts or questions like these? You’re not alone. All of us have areas of life where we seem to be stuck. It may be a sin we’ve struggled with for years, or a habit we can’t seem to break. It may be an attitude or way of thinking that seems to control us. 

You may have even tried to change. New Year’s resolutions. Tips and tricks you’ve heard from others. Prayer. Sheer will power. You’ve tried them all. But still you haven’t seen the change you desire, and more importantly, that you know God wants. 

It could very well be that you’re starting your effort to change in the wrong place. Let me explain. Most of the time, when we want to change, we start by attacking the behavior. If you have trouble with overeating, you may start by cutting out dessert. But, while cutting out dessert may be a good thing, dessert isn’t really the problem. The problem is that you have allowed a God-given need for food to turn into a selfish desire. What God intended for your nutrition has become an uncontrolled pleasure. So, you are finding your pleasure in food, not fully in God. But when we find that pleasure and satisfaction in something other than God, we have created an idol. Unknowingly, we have begun worshiping something other than God (Exodus 20:3-5). 

So, how do we change? First, we ask God to search our hearts for these hidden idols. David prayed, “Search me, O God, and know my heart! Try me and know my thoughts. And see if there be any grievous way in me” (Psalm 139:23-24). True change will only occur when we first allow God to root out anything in us that is trying to take His place in our life. It may not be food. It may be anger that is rooted in selfishness, arrogance that is rooted in pride, foolishness that is rooted in rebellion or any number of other actions that are rooted not in our love for God, but in our love of ourselves.

Once we have honestly and thoroughly allowed God to examine us and point out our sinfulness, we need to let God change our minds. Our idols, our selfish desires, have taught us patterns of thinking that God wants to change. Romans 12:2 tells us, “Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind.” This world - that which is apart from God - wants to shape us (conform us) to its way of thinking, which leads to following its patterns of living. God calls us away from that. He calls us not to be conformed but to be transformed. Just like the caterpillar becomes a butterfly, God calls the old, worldly person to be transformed into a new person, holy in life and wholly committed to Him. 

And notice how this happens, “by the renewal of your mind.” Behavior change doesn’t start with gritting our teeth, making ourselves promises or making new resolutions. It starts by letting God’s Word speak the truth to us so that our minds are renewed – that is, we start thinking like God thinks rather than like the world thinks. “Your word is a lamp to my feet and a light to my path” (Psalm 119:105).

As God roots out sin and His Word replaces that sinful thinking with godly truth, we have begun to build a foundation for true change. We are truly being transformed from the inside out. Our bad behaviors won’t automatically stop, there’s still more work to be done. But we’ve begun in the right place. 

If you need help making changes in your life, reach out to Hillside Biblical Counseling. We want to help you apply God’s unchanging truth to your situation. Find more helpful articles here. For information about our counseling ministry, or to schedule an in-person or Zoom counseling session click here.